What is that smell?

Something in our home has died. No, I don't mean figuratively or metaphorically, as in our love has died. No, I mean something has actually DIED in our house. As in climbed behind a wall, stopped breathing and ceased to exist. That kind of died. And whatever this something is, it left behind a really, really bad smell.


I can only imagine it's a mouse since about a month ago Stewie, one of our cats, was seen scampering away with something in his mouth. That was the first time since living here that we have seen any "nature" in our home. In fact, for country living we don't see much of anything around here. I know we get deer because we see their tracks in the winter, but I have yet to see one. I haven't even seen or smelled a skunk. Not that I am complaining, mind you.

So, I didn't think too much about the mouse incident-except for thinking it must have been a really stupid mouse to attempt to take up residence in a house with 3 cats-and figured it was a one time thing.

I guess I was wrong. Either that or something else got in behind a wall in the basement and DIED! Whatever, it stinks. I wish I could describe for you in words (as opposed to ...interpretive dance?) the horrendous stench a dead critter weighing no more than a couple of ounces can cause. But I am not sure you'd want to read that even if I was a talented enough writer to adequately convey such an odor.

Let's just say it smells pretty nasty and leave it at that.

So, you ask, what does one do about such a smell in their home? Good question. First, they argue with their husband over whose chore it is to call someone about the smell given the whole division of labor thing. I lost. Then, they speak to someone at pest control who advises...

"The smell will be gone in about a week,"


Yeah, but what about the critter that caused the smell?


"I know it's gross, but it will just go away."


Huh? You mean I should leave the mouse carcass in the wall? I shouldn't rip apart the house looking for said mouse carcass? Really, you want me to leave the mouse carcass in the wall?


"yes."


Wont bugs come?


"probably not. If they do, we will come out and spray."


Huh? But the smell is really bad.


"You can try spraying air freshener."


Yeah. Right. Umhuh. OK, thanks.



This is where it would be helpful to be one of those people who has a wonderfully descriptive vocabulary so that I could explain just how DISGUSTING the smell is. Either that, or it would be nice to have invented smellivision...or in this case smelliphone.

*sigh*

So, the pest control people will be out on Tuesday to set mouse baits. This wont kill them like a traditional mouse trap, instead they eat the bait and take it back to their nest to die. So, more questions...

What if they eat it and die in the house, wont I have more bad smells?


"Usually their nests are outside at this time of year and they come in to look for a food source."


OK, usually, but what if they die in the house or my cats eat them?


"Well, unfortunately at that point it's really out of our hands."


No shit! Now it's either in MY walls or in my cat's belly! Either way, not great for us.


But, what can you do? Play the odds and hope that the mouse takes the bait back to an outdoor nest.


Then I asked about the bait.


"It's animal and child friendly."


OK, but what if the cat eats it.


"There is no way for the cat to get the bait."


OK, but my cats will be tempted to eat the mouse. What if they eat the mouse AFTER the mouse has eaten the bait. Wont the bait then be ingested by the cat?


Brief silence. "Well yes, then the cat will get some and may be a little sick, but it's not deadly."


Great. Just great.


Again, though, what is one to do?

So, wish us luck as we ride out the smell for the next 5-7 days. Meanwhile, apparently I need to have a talk with our cats. Clearly, they are not doing their jobs!